It was a split-second shift. Moments earlier, I had been the epitome of confidence behind the wheel – a careful driver, yielding to others, attentive to every detail of the road. Then, in an instant, it felt as though I was a mere spectator as my body seized control. It happened.

The memories that linger are not of sights or sensations but of sounds: the deafening bang, the abrupt explosion of the airbag. Despite my certainty of having the right of way, the green light, and the confident turn of the car ahead, it was as if fate had other plans. It wasn’t the first time I had felt sure of myself, only to be proven wrong. But this time, the lesson came at a staggering cost.

Yet, amidst the chaos, an eerie calm enveloped me. I felt almost serene, inexplicably assured that everything would somehow be alright. Miraculously, no one was injured, and my car bore the brunt of the impact, shielding both me and those around me. It was a surreal moment of gratitude amidst the wreckage – a testament to the fragile balance between control and chaos. A miracle. Alive.

But what struck me most was the unexpectedness of it all. How could it happen to someone like me, so sure of themselves? It was a humbling realization, one that forced me to confront the consequences of my own arrogance. And as I grapple with the aftermath, I find myself at a crossroads, uncertain of what lies ahead and the domino effect of things yet to come. When you make a deal with the unknown, the only thing you know is what already happened. The rest is in oblivion.

I  know what I don’t want to do, but still have no idea what to do, how to figure it out, and make it work for me and the people around me. I already made some serious decisions and will follow through with them, but some decisions still remain hanging. Part of it is because I know things come slowly to me, and I allow the space for them to grow. Another part is fear of making a mistake and stepping on the road that will lead to me roaming around rather than walking confidently in the right direction.

In the days that followed, I found myself revisiting the scene of the accident, desperately searching for answers. How could I have let this happen? What was I thinking in that pivotal moment? Yet, amidst the turmoil, I remained composed, navigating through the chaos with a clarity that surprised even me.

The encounter with mortality left an indelible mark, prompting introspection and a newfound sense of responsibility. No longer could I blame a higher power for the twists and turns of fate. Instead, I embraced the weight of my own actions, recognizing the power of choice in shaping our destinies.

And then, there were the dreams – haunting premonitions that whispered of impending danger. Were they omens, warning signs that went unheeded? Perhaps. But even in the face of such uncertainty, one question lingers: can we truly alter the course of our fate, or are we mere bystanders in the grand theatre of life and not intervening is the best action we could take?

 

In the end, one thing remains certain: I was spared for a reason. A chance to reflect, to learn, and to appreciate the fragile gift of life. And for that, I am eternally grateful.